Making Mealtime Memories (screen free!)

Last week Makai started kindergarten, and though we are very happy with the school he's at (Cody's in his second year there and loves it), I had a fairly major complaint after the first 3 days. Makai's teacher was putting a show on (I think Peppa Pig) during the 30 minute recess, while the kids were eating their snack. My kids don't get to watch any TV during school days (and video games/iPad games haven't made their way into our home at all yet) so watching TV at school everyday was not something I was ok with. A show on also changes the dynamics of meal time, which I think should be  a lively community event, where kids are free to chat, share their food, and simply interact face-to-face.

We see it every time we go out for dinner- little kids are watching shows on phones or iPads while their yayas feed them and often older kids and even the parents are all on phones too. When we eat out, my kids might be climbing around in their seats, talking way too loud, and crying over spilled drinks on their colouring sheets, but the chaos is part of our family and something we work with, rather than easily eliminate by focusing on a screen while we eat.

We have a policy in our home and even during Peace Church gatherings, that phones are not allowed at the dinner table (and even if you are new to our table, I enforce it!!!). In a culture where smartphones have become an addictive habit, often taking us away from personal interactions and making us less happy and more depressed (http://www.macleans.ca/society/how-the-smartphone-affected-an-entire-generation-of-kids/), curbing the use of screen time for some good dinner conversation (and a little chaos!) is a pretty easy decision for us.

More and more, I am realizing how counter-cultural it is to put limits on screen time and not use it as a parenting (or teaching!) behaviour management tool.  I'm glad that Makai's teacher understood my concerns and has decided not to put a show on during recess anymore. Yesterday Makai told me, through giggles, about how funny it was when his new friend's juice box squirted all over her arm and how they laughed together... a kindergarten bonding moment that wasn't lost to a screen :)

I had to add a photo of our sweet kindergartener on his sunny first day of school!

10 years in with a big year ahead....

Today marks 10 years since the day Darnell and I got married. What a full 10 years it has been! Last week was Makai's 5th birthday, which also means its been just a couple months shy of 5 years since we've lived in Manila as a family.  And this month marks one year until we say goodbye to Manila and move back to Canada. I also celebrated my 34th birthday this week and have been reflecting on what this next year of my life will bring.... most importantly, it will bring one more child into our family! The due date for the arrival of this little one is September 28, exactly 12 years after the blind date that started our family's journey!

I feel incredibly grateful for our journey. It is such a joy to raise a family with Darnell, to travel together (we've been to 10 countries in 10 years!) and to live cross-culturally as a family with all the challenges and fun it brings. I can't say I don't feel overwhelmed by the thought of another kid in the mix during a big year of transitions but we are up for the adventure.... if there's anything 10 years with Darnell has taught me, its to lean into adventure, to be brave and not worry, and to embrace life with positivity and passion. Its no wonder it was Darnell convincing me to have a forth kid :)  I'm not sure if I've every met another human who so joyfully enters into adventure, transition and challenges. So with the big changes this year will bring, I'm praying for Darnell's positivity and courage to rub off on me even more!

The other day as Cody was tying his shoes before our walk to school, he told me that he was sad to move to Canada because he will miss his classmates. I almost teared up right there.... and it looked like he was about to too. We talked about how hard it will be to say goodbye to everyone here and what a big change it will be for our family and how brave we'll need to be. As excited as we also are to live in Canada again, life in Manila is all our kids know. Canada is the place for summer holidays and fun visits and perfect summer weather. So Cody and I talked about how we can have happy and excited feelings right beside the sad and lonely ones because it will be a lot of both when we move home. The joy and sadness of change is coming in this next year- pray that we can embrace all the emotions with courage.

So today as we celebrate 10 years together, much is on my mind.... I look back to 10 years ago and could not have imagine a better decade or a better partner to share this adventure with. And I cannot help but think what a year from now will look like... we'll be packing up our life here; our books and toys will be in boxes and our arms will be tearfully embracing friends who have become our family as we say goodbye to the only life our kids have known, and settle into new jobs, new schools and a new community in Abbotsford, all with a new baby in tow! But before that big transition, we will savour each memory this last year in Manila will offer us. We celebrate 10 years of marriage with so much gratitude for our journey; wonderful friends and family who support us, two countries to call home, our Peace Church community, and 3 amazing kids, plus one special bonus that will be completing our family as we begin our next decade of adventure together!