I sadly keep hearing that my fellow mom friends back in Canada feel worn out and alone. As one article that’s circulating said, “It takes a village, but there are no villages.” Our friends are crying out for community, but they all seem to be in the same boat and are hardly able to help each other practically with watching kids or sharing the dinner-making load.
As I hear of these struggles, I can’t help look at my own life and realize I DO have a village- they’re in my home everyday! I think there’s no better way to create that village of shared parenting and housework than to plant a church in your home!
Besides hosting Peace Church gatherings at our house, our community is in and out of our house all week, especially the ones without children of their own. Today Fread was over for a meeting with Darnell, which also meant he played with the boys for a few hours and entertained all 3 kids while I made dinner. Yesterday Kathleen stayed the night and played with the kids while I did some laundry and then she did the dinner dishes for us while we put the kids to bed. Reg was here all weekend and read countless books to the kids and did dishes all weekend.
Friends at home are often surprised by how much I host, but I can honestly say that it doesn’t feel like “work” but actually means the parenting and household load is shared. It’s not a fancy type of hosting or “entertaining,” its just about continuously opening our home to all kinds of friends despite the messy house and tantruming children. It’s about making extra food at dinner in case a friend pops by but not apologizing for a messy kitchen!
It really does take a village to raise our kids and I am so thankful that we have that village here in our home- and more than the practical help they offer, I’m thankful for the friendships we have with these dear friends and the way our children are shaped by all the amazing big brothers and sisters who have become our family.
As I hear of these struggles, I can’t help look at my own life and realize I DO have a village- they’re in my home everyday! I think there’s no better way to create that village of shared parenting and housework than to plant a church in your home!
Besides hosting Peace Church gatherings at our house, our community is in and out of our house all week, especially the ones without children of their own. Today Fread was over for a meeting with Darnell, which also meant he played with the boys for a few hours and entertained all 3 kids while I made dinner. Yesterday Kathleen stayed the night and played with the kids while I did some laundry and then she did the dinner dishes for us while we put the kids to bed. Reg was here all weekend and read countless books to the kids and did dishes all weekend.
Friends at home are often surprised by how much I host, but I can honestly say that it doesn’t feel like “work” but actually means the parenting and household load is shared. It’s not a fancy type of hosting or “entertaining,” its just about continuously opening our home to all kinds of friends despite the messy house and tantruming children. It’s about making extra food at dinner in case a friend pops by but not apologizing for a messy kitchen!
It really does take a village to raise our kids and I am so thankful that we have that village here in our home- and more than the practical help they offer, I’m thankful for the friendships we have with these dear friends and the way our children are shaped by all the amazing big brothers and sisters who have become our family.
It is good to hear of your extended family/community/church that--as you said--passes in and out of your home all week. I have such fond memories of just that community from our years in Paraguay. North America has this to learn from other countries.
ReplyDeleteI also hosted more in Paraguay than here. I aim to have simple meals here as well, but somehow it is just more formal. Is it the more outdoors-openness of the structure of homes? The fewer structured activities in families lives?
Thank you for the thoughts.
Pat
Thanks for the comment, Pat! Yes, I'm sure it will be an adjustment and possibly more of a challenge to host back in Canada someday like we do here in Manila... it does seem families are busier at home with much more structure to their schedules. I wrote another article about hospitably that you might be interested in... http://news.mennonitechurch.ca/commentary-our-revolving-door-and-why-we-love-it
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